Fable 3 and Monty Python

JBLivin

Fable 3

Fable 3 has a lot of personality players can get lost in if they know where to look. With tons of corky characters, an absolutely beautiful soundtrack, impressive environments and set pieces, and a plot that, though overdone, appeals to gamers consistently, Fable 3 did have the potential to become something greater than its predecessors. Unfortunately, it just let every little advantage slip through its fingers, becoming something only die-hard fans would want to buy . Don't believe me? Here is a list of grievances I've put together to declare indepen- i mean, to prove my point.

NEW GRIEVANCES

Fable 3 Sanctuary 

The Sanctuary in Fable 3 acts as your menu. And it’s one of the worst things about the game. Every time you want to change weapons, what you wear, check on your money, the world map, everything, has to be done through the sanctuary. And it takes way too long to do what you want to do as it acts like you’re playing in game. Your character has to run up to different podium and then select what they want. It adds a couple hours overall to what is already a very short game.

Fable 3 Spells

 Magic was over powered in the first game. If you’ve read my Fable 2 review, you know how I feel about that. Magic in Fable 3 is even more powerful as you can combine magic, charge it up, and destroy everything. Just like fable 2, only even easier. I for one didn’t think that was possible.

Fable 3 and Monty Python

 Let’s get something straight. Lionhead may have recruited the Legendary John Cleese, but this is still not Monty Python and never will be. The reason? Monty Python is actually funny. And this goes hand in hand with the interactions. In Fable 3, the interactions are random, so you can’t even pick from the atrocities from Fable 2, making it even worse. And most of the interactions are supposed to be funny. Toliet humor is funny to a five year old boy, and not the humor of Monty Python. Stop trying Lionhead.

Fable 3 Trailer

Fable 3 Weapon Morphing

 Weapons don’t morph the way they were advertised. You must complete challenges to unlock new looks and increase their effectiveness. And many are obvious ploys to get you to convince others to buy the game or pay for certain DLC, etc.

Fable 3 Bling

 There’s almost nothing to spend money on in this game. Never need to buy a weapon. Almost never need potions. In fact, all the money you’ll need will come out of your real wallet for the stupid DLC.

JBLivin

Fable 3 Accessories

 There are even less customizable options in Fable 3 than in Fable 2. And part of the reason is because they now want you to buy everything with real money on top of paying for the actual game.

Fable 3 and Windows Vista

 Holding A is like doing anything on windows vista. Are you sure you want to do this? “Yes” Positive? “yes….” Last chance… “YES, DARN IT!!!”

Fable 3 Melee

 Melee is underpowered even more in Fable 3 than in Fable 2. By the time you hold down X for a Flourish, you could be holding down B for a charged spell 10x more deadly.

Fable 3 Level Up

 In fable 3, you have to go back to the Road to Rule every darn time you increase in level. Why do I have to run up and open a chest to increase the power of my sword? To upgrade a spell? From a chest? You’re pulling this on me on top of the despicable sanctuary?!

Fable 3 World Map

 The Sanctuary map is horrible, no “you are here” and the model is kind of a joke as when you actually fast travel to a selected location you can still feel like you don’t know where you are as the model used for the World Map is so different.

Fable 3 Co Op

 Co Op works now, but still pointless as all the other player can really do is help you with fighting. He or she other doesn’t participate in the story; it’s like they’re not there and completely ignored.

Fable 3 Co Op Restrictions

 In Fable 3 you and a friend must have the exact same DLC if you want to play together. Let’s say you both downloaded the free content. But then, you buy the stupid Black Dye DLC and space telling your friend. Now you can’t play until your friend pays for it too. Yes another obvious ploy to drain every last cent from their customers. Bravo Lionhead.

BLivin

Fable 3 Stupid DLC

 Lionhead knows we want to customize. It’s an RPG. Customizing is RPG 101. Everyone expects it, everyone wants to do it. And yet almost every little DLC pertaining to customizing the look and feel of your character must be paid for. There are games out there that actually add to the games with new quests and gameplay mechanics and so on that charge 10-20 dollars. Buy five new articles of clothing for Fable 3:10 bucks. Pay 10 bucks for other games’ DLC: get more true gamepaly. Which do you prefer for your hard earned money?

Fable 3 Relationships

 Forming “Connections” in the game falls short. Holding someone’s hand doesn’t form an emotional bond and half the time you’re not even holding hands. The game bugs on you and you’re both extending your hands and grasping at thin air.

REOCCURRING GRIEVANCES

Fable 3: Bredcrum trail

 Ugh, the Breadcrum trail from Fable 2 is back and, just like before, distracts from the gorgeous environments and set pieces.

Fable 3 Finishing Moves

Fable 3 Loading Screens

 Loading screens might be even more numerous in Fable 3 than in Fable 2. The story is short enough and even shorter when you consider all the time you waste in that horrendous Sanctuary, and even more so staring at loading screens.

Fable 3 is Short: 

This game will last between 6-10 hours. Done. Just like last time.

Fable 3 is Too Easy

 I already touched on why Fable 3 is too easy. The B button will win every battle with no effort on your part.

Fable 3 Dog

 Still don’t care about the dog.

Boring Jobs:

 Jobs are basically a boring Guitar Hero

Boring Quests

 Still plenty of droll quests with few that stand out as memorable.

Linear Paths

 Most environments still feel like you’re passing through a corridor.

Bad Loot

 Any surprise that in a game that provides everything for you there isn’t much loot worth mentioning?

Uninspired characters

The characters besides your butler may be even less memorable than in Fable 2.

Fable 3 Let Down 

The anticlimactic final confrontation had me yelling at the game. Yes, Fable continues its tradition of building up to something and then falling flat on its rear.

JBLivin

Fable 3 Final Verdict

Fable 3 was, in my opinion, another swing and a miss for Lionhead. Sure, the environments and set pieces are stunning, and the sound is spectacular. But the thing is, that's the only real praise I can afford this game. The controls are simple and easy to pick up,and when all is said and done there is some fun to be had, though not often enough. And so, Fable 3 earns a 4 out of 10 for all the grievances  listed above. 

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