Monday, September 3, 2012

Angry Birds Trilogy Are You Kidding Me?

FOR MATURE READERS (and yes, it's because of the youtube vid. fair warning)

Okay, so those in the gaming community already know this but I thought I'd address it here on my video game blog. Reviewing and previewing video games, that's what a gamermonkey does. Not so long ago, we all heard and read about Angry Birds coming to the console. Huzzahs all around. We were psyched. Yes, very excited indeed. An actual Angry Birds game for the console. Our minds wandered and extrapolated fantastical and elaborate ideas oh what a game like that would be like. If Angry Birds was so much fun on the phone, iPad, etc, just imagine on the PS3 or 360. Heck, even 3DS is getting in on the shenanigans. And then, like freaking Lucy, Rovio and Activision snatched the football that is our Angry Birds and we found ourselves flat on our backs while Snoopie and Woodstock laughed at us. After reading the game is selling for $40 I had but one question: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

You know what? No. No. You don't do that! Here's what you do. You take a game like angry birds and by all means, slap it on the consoles. Take the 360 for example. Strap that onto Xbox live and get people to buy it for like five bucks tops (that might be too much, actually) in Xbox live points. Not  $40 dollars.  $30 on the 3DS.

Let's think about it. What's really new about Angry Birds Trilogy? But you can play it on a bigger screen! That's so cool! No, not really. For 40 clams that's not cool at all. In fact, it's worse. On a big ol' flatscreen hanging on your wall you can see how stupid you are with your money all the more. Hey guys, wanna come over and play a 40 dollar mobile game? Yeah... it's $40.... Hey!  Shut up! **** you man! I'll play by myself! Laugh at me.. I'll show em....

What you get are 3 Angry Birds games: Angry Birds, Rio, and Seasons, which are already out and playable on a Macbook, iphone, ipad, Android, blah blah blah, we all know what we play it on. Think back to how much you paid for it. On the iphone it's like $1 a piece. I think one of them was even free. And Android owners, all that needs to be done is download it, don't even have to pay. So what the heck?

I'll put it to you another way. So, just about every Angry Birds game is one dollar iOS right? Let's say you go on your little iPad and download all three games plus some DLC. That's about ten dollars out of pocket. Woopie. Or download the three games individually on, say your iPhone. About Three Dollars

There are about 719 levels instead of the 855. Okay, so . . . why is that? What could possibly be the selling point of this game?

From what I gather, Angry Birds Trilogy will be digitally remastered with 1080p graphics, new animation, surround sound, Kinect/Move support, 3D support, some achievements and unlockables such as concept art. Well there ya go! Eureka! It all makes perfect sense! That's why it's like a 2,000% markup! Well bravo Activision, bravo! And bravo to you as well, Rorvio. You give Capcom a run for its money. And let's take some time to think about it. You know the developers know they're full of bullpoo when that's all the highlights of the game.

C'mon people. Are we really gonna do this? You know what this does? You know what this will do? Let's say people flock to this. And you know what else? Sad things is, even at the unbelievable price of 40 DOLLARS, it will make reasonable sells. But what it will really do on top of that is set a precedent. iOS games, and mobile games in general, will now be slapped onto the consoles and idiots will pay $30-$40-$50 dollars for it.

No, but check it out, guys. DLC is planned. Exclusive DLC for the consoles only. That's so exciting! Oh, wait. So.... my $40 is actually $45? $50???? $60?????????? Cause you know they're gonna charge at least $5 bucks a pop, even up to $10. And hey, they have the balls to charge $40 to begin with, why not $15-$20 per DLC? And here I thought the Gods and Kings expansion for Civ V and the Dawnguard DLC was a bit pricey.

And parents, siblings, I know what you're thinking. Angry Birds is so much fun. Your kids and younger siblings adore this game. What an excellent idea for Christmas. Why, I could go out and get it on Black Friday and save some money!

You're basically paying for a game they already have for about 3-10 dollars max for the sake of better picture and a large screen. Oh, and some outrageously priced DLC, you mark my words. If you really want to get them a good game, go out and buy something else. There are so many amazing games out there for half, nay, in some cases a fraction of the price.

And there are the new games coming out between this month and December which will be outstanding, and most for only $10-$20 dollars more. Only they will be original games with real value. Not this recycled garbage that's an obvious grab for your hard earned money. Now, I normally place a few links to Amazon if anyone is interested in purchasing the game through my affiliate link. Heck, I even placed them in for Steel Battalion Heavy Armor just on the off chance someone really wanted it anyway. Well, I REFUSE to try and sell this game to ANYONE.

My Prediction

This theft of your hard earned money will be a 2 out of 10. The only reason it's not a 1 is because it's a bit more recognizable as a video game. The crime is, there are more people who know about Angry Birds than other games that are far more deserving of the gaming communities attention, whether they be casual or even make a living doing it. Join me in sending a message. This crosses the line. Do not support such practices. Vote with your wallets. I promise you, if enough people say **** this, I'm spending my money on something else, something magical will happen: Developers will stop doing it! Whaa? You mean it works? Common sense folks. Use it. The name of the game is and will always be money. Don't end up like our friend Cartman.

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